And so to University…

Today (Summer 2003) we received confirmation from a 1st division University (according to all the league tables) that our 18 yr old home educated son has a place to study for an MPhys degree in Theoretical Physics. I wanted to share our story with other home educators. I’m just a mother, whatever that is, I don’t have a degree, I never studied Physics and failed my Maths GCSE (I would pass it now!), and we live on a very low income. I don’t think that the academic route is the only way to success; my second son has a very exciting, very practical, non-academic career planned (I’m not allowed to divulge just what, until he is more certain that it will happen). But nevertheless, J…’s success flies so much in the face of all my critics; it’s such fun!

Our story begins with a bright, confident little boy setting off for school. His first year was fine, but he didn’t pick up reading, writing and arithmetic the way his classmates did, I worried. His teacher thought he was a wonderful little boy, and as he was one of the youngest in his year, would soon catch up. He didn’t. The next year with a new teacher, he was kept in at playtime to finish work; work he couldn’t do. His friends began to fall away, he dropped further and further behind. His teacher let me know she thought he was laid back and lazy; by this time he was constantly sucking his thumb and stuttering. I suggested dyslexia. The head teacher was appallingly patronising; as far as she was concerned J… was a nice little boy but not very bright and inclined to be lazy. I was a problem parent (I was ever so good, throughout our several meetings I really did remain calm, polite, but firm). She suggested I might like to read to J… at home; I had read, ‘The Hobbit’ and all C S Lewis’ ‘Narnia’ books to him before he even went to school! J... failed his 7yr old SATs tests, the only one in his class to do so – at the following parents evening his class teacher asked me, ‘You’re not still worried about him are you?’ I was left gaping like a fish.

We moved house and so school. The head teacher at the new school told me he had a son with dyslexia, I hoped things would be better. They weren’t. J… sat on the red table in his class for two years, all the children knew that the red table (as opposed to the blue/green/yellow) was where the slower children sat. His teacher told me she wasn’t worried about him academically despite the fact that he alternated bottom and second to bottom of the class with another boy. He went up to the head teacher’s class, who did admit there was something wrong and arranged for J… to have 20 minutes special help a week. It was a nice gesture but that was all.

Eventually half way through the first term of his last year in primary school J… had had enough. We had talked about the possibility of home education before but J… had been afraid, worrying that he would be completely left out of village life, an outcast. (That didn’t happen at all!) Now he didn’t care. We took him out of school; he was near breakdown with totally shattered self-confidence and esteem – years behind in literacy and numeracy. What had happened to that sociable, eager to learn, happy little boy I had put into the system 6 years previously?

It took J… a year before he could even hold a pen without completely flaking, and then it was a calligraphy pen using gold and silver ink on black paper; it didn’t remind him of school. We dug a garden pond and watched and studied the wildlife; I read to him, novels, factual books. We compared and contrasted prices of possible Christmas presents and made nets of complex mathematical shapes. We visited museums and historical sites, the library; we shopped. We watched schools TV, I taped adult documentaries for him; a series of documentaries on Einstein were the seed that flowered into his passion for physics.

We moved again due to a different and totally unrelated life crisis. Our new LEA advisor was an Educational Psychologist; he confirmed J…’s dyslexia. All three children were now out of school. I had sort of thought that J… would go back to school in time for GCSEs but home education was working too well. As his school-going friends were preparing to take exams I thought we ought to. We started studying for 5 IGCSEs: Maths, English, Combined Science, Geography and Natural Economy. We gave up after a couple of months, syllabi stifled our depth and breadth of learning. T hen in the October before exams the following May/June J… decided he wanted to study Physics at University. ‘Oh heck’, thought his mother! In the 8/9 months left to us we studied for IGCSE Maths, Physics and Chemistry. We just used revision books and books we already had. He managed Bs in Physics and Chemistry but only a D in his Maths. I knew that his Maths result was far below his capability, but he was fighting his demons, (those 6 years of negativity at school) he was extremely stressed.

J… still wanted to study Physics at university so we bought A level courses in Maths, Physics and Environmental Science from the Open Learning Centre International at Carmarthen. We live far too far away from any F.E. or sixth form colleges for them to have been an option without J… leaving home and living with relatives. This bothered me at the time, but actually I now think that the way we did it was better. He could still learn his way, without the unnecessary burden of school type learning.

J… worked hard and passed two modules of AS maths the following summer; he got a B and D but decided to retake the D – he was still capable of panic in exams and misreading questions when under stress.

So at the start of his A2 year we applied to universities through UCAS. I wasn’t sure whether there would be any point and doubted any offers of a place, but thought he would be in the system, and then if his A level results were reasonable he might have a chance through clearing. He did have a rather wonderful personal statement. His academic reference was a problem as they wouldn’t accept one from me. J…’s Open Learning College tutors had never even spoken to him let alone met him, so our local GP and family friend looked through his work, college assignments etc. and wrote him a very nice reference.

To our surprise, interview invitations and offers rolled in. The first interview was wonderful. Whilst I was wandering around in the parent group feeling a total fraud as other parents discussed 10 GCSE, and 4 AS passes, J… was being interviewed by the Professor of Theoretical Physics. He did some Maths and Physics with J… and then told him he was very impressed by his knowledge and understanding, approved of his home education and thought he ought to apply for the MPhys course rather than the BSc. When J… said that he wasn’t very good at exams and worried about A level results (you needed higher grades for the MPhys than the BSc) he said that didn’t matter and he would do anything legally possible to get him in. In the end J… had offers from all 6 respected 1st and 2nd division Universities that he had applied to.

J… was offered a place at Summer College at his first choice University, aimed at mature students and those from disadvantaged backgrounds, advertised as a bridge between school and higher education. J didn’t feel he was disadvantaged but decided to go, then if his A level grades weren’t up to scratch the university would probably accept him anyway. The access criteria were met by our low income and J...’s dyslexia. It was very intensive and involved a vast amount of writing, (something J… does not do well). However; he cooked his own meals, found a girlfriend, drank quite a few pints of beer, introduced his mates to malt whiskey (but forewent the vodka jelly!) and passed the course with flying colours. Oh, and of course, the socialisation bit that always comes up when home education is mentioned. On the last night they had a ball and the students had to vote fellow students for awards. There was the most frequently inebriated, the college legend (eccentric character), and then the cutest girl and the cutest guy. J... was voted the cutest guy!!! It wasn’t a Mr/Miss World contest, as J… says there were a couple of guys that the girls were fainting at the feet of, it was more the guy and girl that more people knew and liked. How’s that for meaningful social skills? (Actually I’m sure the fact that he is tall, dark and handsome helped, (I am his mother!))

J…’s A level results came, he did well and they were slightly better than he needed for his first choice offer. I’m back to where I started.

To get here from there is surely a positive achievement for home education.

I gather things have changed, special needs are more frequently recognised and help offered. My nephew is an example, but I’m still not sure that it is the right way to go. My nephew is still miserable, with low self-esteem and so much homework which takes so long.

J… has a B in ‘A’ level Maths - he doesn’t know his times tables. He can write a first year university essay (using a word processor) – he can’t spell for toffee. If he had been in school so much time would have been spent trying to help him to do the things that he is not good at that he wouldn’t have had time to find out what he can do. (Of course when he was in school he wasn’t allowed to try to do the things he could do until he could do what he couldn’t with no help at all).

I believe J... would have failed his end of primary and 14yr SATs. He would have studied for 6-10 GCSEs and got low grades, he wouldn’t have studied Maths and Physics at A level, his ambitions would not have been realised.

I wonder whether too much emphasis is placed on certain skills and standards setting up some children to fail however hard they or their teachers try, and success in these fields can sometimes only be bought at a higher price, that of failure in self esteem and lack of realisation of true potential.

Update, November 2004:

It's now more than a year later, J... is in the middle of the first term in his second year. He is having a wonderful time. Academically he is doing very well passing his first year exams in the top range; he had a dyslexia assessment and the psychologist was amazed that someone so dyslexic had got to University with the only extra help of 25% extra time in exams. Socially he is flying, he has so many friends from so many age and interest groups, is the president of one University Society and on the executive of another, the only thing he doesn't seem to do is sleep!!