Home Education

Easter 2003

I withdrew my son from mainstream education at Easter 2003. After 7 months we are still developing our 'learning style' and perhaps this will be a perpetual process. We are both learning and developing as we go along.

I came to home education without high expectations; I simply knew that I could offer more to my son than the state educators. As a diagnosed dyspraxic of 'average' intelligence there was no provision for his special needs in school. He was depressed and had low self esteem, by the age of 13 he was heading towards the suicidal and despite my taking and leaving him at the school gates each morning it had become so unbearable for him that he had started taking his own leave from school.

I was aware that I could not simply shift the responsibility for the education of my child from the state to the whole home educating community, but had to accept the responsibility as wholly my own. However, I have felt encouraged, informed, relieved and comforted to know there are more home educators 'out there' than I ever could have imagined.

In the short time my son has been away from school, he has been totally happy and content (I exaggerate not). He has found no shortage of people 'to bounce ideas off'; my son talks to me, my adult friends, his guitar teacher, his peers from his old school, other friends he has made locally. He also enters into discussion on the Internet, he discusses politics with people from as far and wide as Saudi Arabia and Canada for example. Other adults who have nothing to do with home education (we are building an extension to the house, partly ourselves and employing skilled workmen to do some jobs, such as the bricklaying, and they are happy to show us what they are doing and let us have a go).

We have no limit to the subjects we research; only last week my son noticed, whilst lounging under his duvet cover, that he could see through it. He asked me (sat in a chair at the other end of the room) if I could see him, of course I couldn't so we surmised there must be tiny holes in the fabric, "filled with what" he asked, "nothing?" air? a vacuum? We discussed it and decided that it couldn't be nothing and must be air, as a vacuum would be nothing and therefore wouldn't exist "but it does exist in space" he said. A few days later we visited Grandad (a retired science teacher) and asked if he could answer these questions, which he did by explaining further the force of gravity - we ended up talking about matter and anti matter. All this without a plan for a science lesson in sight!

I have read much on autonomous learning, this philosophy suits us, I see it not so much laissez faire as encouraging and following of child's curiosities and my own. Often I suggest that my son 'try something out' and we see if we/he wants to go further with it.

Fears of being able to equip our sons and daughters to compete for a job have not been an issue for us, I have not been aware of stories of home-educated children having problems in the job market. I am confident that my son will be able to pursue his chosen career what ever that may turn out to be. I have found home educators to be a diverse and resourceful bunch who don't necessarily want 'to build a different sort of school that combines home and education', because home already combines education. In my opinion if you want to create a classroom in your home you might as well send your child back to school.

For us (despite the social pressures and the temptation to go into blind panic if my son shows no interest in taking any exams yet) the journey is one of enjoyment and discovery and to follow our own way.

Update, November 2004

My son is still relieved to be out of school and has no desire to return; and still views the subject of school with dread.

With his 'old school' friends talking of options and now moving into 'Year 10' he has felt perhaps some pressure to compete. As he expressed a desire to take GCSEs, we have started two GCSE courses with the National Extension College (English and History) and he takes his exams in the coming June. We have managed to fit the following of the GCSE syllabus into our learning style, although it can mean we progress though the material slowly at times as we can start a section of the course material and get side-tracked. This 'side tracking' is as much part of our learning as it is about asking questions, following natural lines of enquiry and we do, eventually get back to the course material. We will have finished the course material in time for the exam with time for revision and exam paper practice. We will also probably have watched every episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants and have read 'Das Kapital' and a translation of the Koran!

The support networks such as Education Otherwise and in particular the 'chat site' on Yahoo for Education Otherwise members has proved very useful to me as parent to my home educated son. The worries and concerns we have for our children tend to be universal and the reassurance and advice we can give each other is invaluable - as much now as it was when my son came out of school Easter 2003.

My son is a joy to behold, he now sings around the house. At 14, he can be typically opinionated, he enjoys a good debate… and yet he is gentle and kind. He is interested in reaching out and trying to understand the world we live in (if he finds an answer I'll let you know!) and yet cherishes the safe environment of home, where we live and learn. I say 'we' as since starting on the adventure I have learnt as much as my son and we have learnt a great deal about each other. My only regret is that I did not consider the option of taking him out of school sooner.