Bullying - Story 12

My child was bullied from the very first day he started full time school which was when he was aged just 4 years and 8 weeks, a baby! On that very first day he was shoved, pushed, smacked and verbally abused, not by fellow pupils but by his teacher, a fact which didn't immediately jump out at me. I thought his misery was just getting used to 'big school'.

Over the next three years I watched as my son stopped being the happy little boy he had been into a quiet, unhappy, introvert nothing!! It absolutely breaks my heart every time I go through this as though I am reliving his nightmare for him, although I can't do that because it didn't happen to me so I shall never be able to fully understand the horrific torture he endured. My guilt at letting him suffer years of this torture has never gone away - even now he remembers things that happened and only the other day told me about how his heart used to beat faster as we walked down the school drive and how terrified he felt. One of the other awful things this teacher did was to make my son the laughing stock of the class and turn the few friends that he had against him. They, including the teacher, used to chant such things as silly S, silly S at him.

My LEA advisor, a lovely man, begged me to draw a line under it all and start again. Tthat was four years ago, but the line has yet to be drawn.

It all came to a head one evening at the dinner table. My nine year old son sat toying with his food and announced that he couldn't go on anymore - he had been removed from his class and put into an infant class; it was the final straw for him.

Everything he had been before he started school had been knocked out of him. For him, there was nothing left. He was described as being one step away from being clinically depressed by a doctor.

At that point, I wasn't aware of home education and so decided to move him to a local village school where there were only fifty pupils in the whole school. It was a lovely school and although the headteacher and his staff were very supportive of S, ten months in and I was told that although they had him on speaking terms with the other children, which I was thankful for, as far as education went, S switched off as soon as he walked in through the door and retreated into being quiet, frightened and withdrawn.

It was the headteacher who turned my attention to home education and one of the teaching staff knew a personal family friend who taught all her own children. It was at this point that I had realised that I was 'allowed' to educate him myself.

Although scared, I embarked on home education with enthusiasm and with support from my home education advisor.

Within a year S had changed dramatically and now four years on, he is a different person. He has bags of confidence, he is into acting and has done plays on the theatre stage, singing and dancing too. He attends art lessons with adults, he has proudly become a brown belt at kung fu and is working for his black. He is interested in everything around him and can talk to anyone of any age. I am constantly being told by the older generation that he is a delight to talk to. He works hard at his lessons and although he is not academically gifted, he enjoys the way we do things and constantly keeps reminding me, four years on, that they never did things like that at school.

A few weeks ago, I pulled a folder out of my filing cabinet and opened it up. Although I still felt upset and cross, it was a little easier to look at the pages of S's school records which an unamed person slipped into my bag so that I could try to understand how things had got so out of control. The first time I read the records, I wept as I read what had been done to S and by whom, in the name of school education.

We only have two years left now. Its taken a while, but my son is a normal level headed young man with hopes for the future. His 'school' friends envy his home education and have driven their own parents mad asking to be taught at home, but to no avail! S will be able to get on in life now. I feel as his mother that I have succeeded in being a mother to him and given him the confidence to move on. The only problem I have is him feeling he has to be eternally grateful!

Although I am supposed to be a Christian and forgiving - I have, so far, to forgive this teacher. She was made to take early retirement, not because of what had happened to S, but because she was caught kicking a reception pupil. It was then that things happened.

The school apologised to me and I was told that if S ever wanted to return the door would always be open to him. Sometimes I feel as though I should have taken things further but I thought about S and am happy that he has changed and is happy. I leave things well alone but often wonder how I would react if I saw this teacher on the street.... now that worries me!

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