Bullying - Story 14

When my son started at secondary school, age 11, he was the only boy from his primary school to get into this particular school. It was supposed to be an excellent school, bullying would not be tolerated blah blah. So we were pleased he got in, and so was our son.

On his first day he was in the playground alone as he didn't know anyone and a group of boys approached him asking if he wanted to hang out with them. Son was pleased he had found some friends. All fine for about 8 months, then son decides he doesn't want to hang around with them anymore, as the group were being bullied by the self styled leader, son included.

So the rest of the group turn on son for 'deserting' them. Name calling starts, pushing and shoving whenever they get near enough to him. Then son says he has made it up with them. No more bullying going on. They call for him to walk to school, back to normal.

Son seems fine, they come to our house, he goes to theirs. Then the leader comes round to our house with a new friend, son and these two go up to spare room where all th computer and playstation etc is kept. After the two leave, son discovers his mobile phone is missing and loads of playstation and computer games.

Leader bully calls for son in morning and I ask him where all stuff is, he says he doesn't know, I say when did you take it, he says when son went to kitchen to get drinks and snacks for them. He looks so cocky I grab him by the collar of his shirt (wrong I know) and tell him the games better be back today or I call police. He starts to whine it was other boy made him do it. I get other boys name and go through phone book and ring his parents. His dad is livid, brings boy round with all stolen stuff and apologises.

Next day son wants me to take him to school in car. When I collect him he very edgy. I check his homework diary and there are pictures of a matchstick man with son's name pointing at it. One is a picture of a hanging matchstick man, another with a gun shooting at matchstick man. I ask son about it, he bursts into tears, he drew them himself, he wishes he was dead.

It all comes out, things not fine. The group have been bullying him again for months.

Next morning I go into school and tell them what is happening. Teachers say they will keep an eye out. It gets no better, take son to doctor's as he says he will kill himself. Doctor signs him off school for 1 month with depression and phones school and demands they stop the bullying.

Nothing changes, except I insist son is not in any lessons with bullies, so school put son on his own in office with work brought to him. Still bullies get to him, he has been dragged down a flight of stairs by his neck past a teacher, stabbed with compasses, punched and kicked.

He makes new friend, and walks home from school with him. Bullies are wating with their 17 and 18 year old brothers, friend runs off, son beaten by a group of 6. We ring police, they want to come and take a statement, son too scared. I keep him home for 2 months. In and out of school for next 2 years, although son not in any classes, I pick him up at lunchtimes and he comes home for dinner. No friends now, all deserted him.

There is a school trip, son wants to go. I go in school and say please keep an eye out. They have to wait in a classroom before getting onto bus. 3 bullies attack son, hit him with books, kick and punch. 2 teachers in classroom at time. Attacked again while in queue for bus, teachers see and do nothing. Complain again, Keep him home for 1 month.

Endless meetings with school. At one meeting with head the head said he wanted son and bully to talk over their problems, as son must be doing something to annoy bully!! I walk out of meeting in disgust.

Bullies discover where son is having his lessons, they climb in through a window to get to him. They punch and kick him and then cover him with chalk dust from board rubber. Husband picks him up at lunchtime, he looks like bag of flour been thrown over him.

Final straw. I ring school and say he not coming back. Son and I burst into tears. I start to panic, thinking I have to send him back.

Monday morning comes, phone call from school, why son not here? I said because you cannot protect him. They ask us to go in for meeting. I say son not coming. Me and husband go for meeting, head says are we sure it's not 'just horseplay' and is son 'tooo sensitive'? Also says son needs to lose weight as he making himself a target. I say school have failed to protect son. They say send him back, I say no and walk out.

Phone calls from school all day, I have to send him back, its the law. I look on the internet, I admit I am starting to panic now, school say they will send someone round to force him to school, they will take me to court etc.

There is no way I will send him back, I even start hatching a plan to send him to stay with his gran in N until I sort this out so 'they' can't force him back to school,thinking that they will send someone round to collect him and take him to school. That's how desperate I was for him not to go back to that school.

I think of getting a solicitor, but while on the internet I discover Education Otherwise.

I find out that I do not have to send him back to the school. That day the school ring again, saying it's law to send him back, blah blah. I ask if I can come in to speak to them. I think they are thinking I am going to take son back.

I arrive in heads office and tell them I have joined EO, (catch quick looks between head and teacher) that I know my rights and son will not be returning to school as under section 7 of the Education Act I am from now taking responsibility for his education.

The head just stands and looks at me, as does the teacher with him. Then I walk out for the final time, with a massive smile!! I just wish I knew about EO at the beginnig, as my son would have been taken out of that hell hole the first time he was bullied. He went through almost 3 years needlessly. I do blame myslef, I also failed him. The only thing I could do was to get him removed from lessons, but he was still bullied.